http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saved_by_the_Bell#The_Tori_Paradox

I don’t know why, but this kind of creeps me out.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer.

The bartender says “I don’t have time for this shit” And pours two beers.

I finished reading Watchmen yesterday. It’s a graphic novel, and a pretty badass graphic novel. It’s being made into a movie, so I’ll have to check it out, although I doubt it will do the book justice. It’s the second graphic novel I’ve read, the first one being the Preacher series. The Preacher was pretty badass too. My friend Nick is a fan of graphic novels so he’s kind of gotten me into them.

I was so drunk last night that I pissed my pants, and I wasn’t even wearing them. Apparently at some point in the night while I was sleeping, I got up and stood in my room, pissing onto my pants which were sitting on the floor. I got out of the shower this morning and went to put my pants on and realized they were soaking wet. I had a very vague memory of pissing on them and trying to make sure I didn’t get any on the floor. I shouldn’t have stayed at my neighbor’s beer pong game so late last night. Especially since I had to work at eight in the morning, which is pretty difficult for someone with my sleep schedule. I felt surprisingly good all day though, considering how little sleep I got, and I expected to be horribly hungover, but that wasn’t the case.

I think I want to get a pet squirrel. Or maybe a serval, or a lynx. I think my cat would like some company. I wonder if I can get a serval anywhere around here.

Jesus Christ, I love trolling.

I picked up tickets for the Nas/Talib Kweli show next Saturday. I’m pretty excited about it. I saw Nas last summer and I was completely blown away. I’ve also always really enjoyed Talib’s music, so it should be a blast.

As far as school being back in goes, I’m really looking forward to a more consistent work schedule and having lots of people around to hang out with.  This summer started out well, but began to suck about a week or two into it, and pretty much stayed that way.

I should be getting my car back soon. I haven’t been driving for about two and half years now. I don’t really miss it that much, except for being able to go shopping. It really sucks when you can only buy enough groceries to fill up your backpack and maybe two plastic shopping bags that you can carry.  Other than the shopping thing, I really haven’t had much use for a vehicle. I get around very easily on my bike. I definitely prefer being on my bike to being in a vehicle. Not so much in the winter though.  Or the rain.

Two drums and a hi-hat fall off a cliff. Ba-dum ching!

It’s my mom’s birthday today, and I just realized she’s turning 60 next year. It’s crazy. I actually remember her turning 40. The siblings all went to her house in Paxton and we had a really kick-ass meal that my older sister Rose cooked. Some of my mom’s friends came over as well, and it was pleasant to sit around on the porch and enjoy the unseasonably mild weather while smoking cigarettes and having conversation. I hadn’t been to Paxton since Christmas, and even then I pretty much just went to my mom’s house straight from the interstate. Driving through town to get to my little brother’s house gave me a strange sense of nostalgia. My brother lives out in the country, right next to a house at which I had attended a couple of parties back in high school. I really don’t miss Paxton at all, but it’s still kind of cool to go through every once in a while and see the little changes that have taken place since I left. I guess I could say the same about my mom’s house. Her house is completely different than it was for almost all of the time that I lived there, but the upstairs where our rooms were is still pretty much the same. Sometimes it’s almost surreal visiting.  In any event, I think our mom was really happy to have us over. Both of my older brothers called as well, so between that and her friends being there, I would say it was probably a good birthday for her.

In other news, I feel like I’m turning a corner. I beat the shit out of some teenagers today, but it was for a purpose. It made me feel good about myself.

I was reading this infographic in the Onion a week or two ago, and I had to laugh out loud when I read the 15% demographic, since I was sitting on my couch drinking a beer in shorts as I was reading it. Strangely enough, I tend to get seasonal depression during the summer. I think it’s because there aren’t many people around and there’s not much to do, plus I can usually go to work at whatever time I want, which a lot of times means I wait till the last minute and I’m stuck at work all night. I feel like I’d be making good use of the summer if I at least went out onto the roof to do my drinking and websurfing, but I’m usually not ambitious enough to do even that.  But school’s going to be back in within a week or two, so things should get a little more interesting. One thing I definitely enjoy about summer though is that going on bike rides is a lot more pleasant. I’ve been going to the opposite side of town lately, which is about 15 miles round trip. I average just a little over 15 miles an hour on these trips, which I think is pretty good since that includes waiting at stop signs and red lights. I think I’ll go on a bike ride now actually.

In other news, I got my head shaved yesterday. Nobody has told me it looks bad, but most people have just remarked “oh you got a haircut”, which I think is a good sign that it does not look good. Plus they’ve mostly said that with a little bit of a shocked look on their face. I thought it looked good at first, but i think I might be wrong about that. It’s weird though, because some of my biggest regrets in life have been haircuts, but I simply don’t give a shit now. I heard my grandpa used to say the only difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is a couple of days. In my case it might be a few weeks, but you get the point.

The last segment of my blog will be a dream journal: So I’m at Summercamp (I bartended there at the end of the summer) and all of my friends are there. We’re partying in a big field near the edge of the woods. It’s well known among everyone there that you shouldn’t go into the woods because it’s late at night and we understand the woods as being very dangerous (for no specific reason). As we party more and more, I get closer and closer to the woods. People occasionally warn me that I’m venturing too close, but I don’t really care that much anymore. Eventually I am in the woods completely. I can see my friends in the field through the trees, but none of them can hear me and I’m horrified and alone. I go farther into the woods to see if I can find a way out in the opposite direction but it only gets darker and scarier. Even though I’m really far in, I can still faintly see everyone, and I occasionally hear them call my name, but I can’t yell enough for them to respond. I felt like I was having a panic attack when I awoke.